Goals: To kiss my crush at least once.
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson (The Art Institute of Chicago)
"Prisoner Of My Mind" Asia Aneka Anderson 2015(c)
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson
Day 151: #HarryPotter effing weekend! It's like ABC Family knows when it's raining. #HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince #HarryPotterForever #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 150: Ready for the "Secret Life of #MarilynMonroe" #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 149: 29 drafts saved on my blog and that's not even including the stories swimming around in my brain. It may seem overwhelming, but this number means that creativity is brewing. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #AsiaWrites #InsideMyCreativeMind #amwriting #Tumblr
Goals: To visit NYC and see where John Lennon lived on my birthday this October.

I Wear A Smile

I wear a smile in my dreams.
I go the places I long to go.
I become all the things I want to be.
A smile appears on my face.
I smile at the journey only my dreams can take me.
Happy as long as my eyes are closed.
I conquer all fears.
I travel all roads.
Grinning at the thought that I can succeed.
When my eyes open the smile remains.
Aware of what’s possible.
Knowing what lies ahead.
A smile that travels from dreams to my face.
Proof that dreams do come to life.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, I Wear A Smile 2015©

My Body, My Soul

Let me take care of you.
I can treat you better.
I promise.
I long to make you feel loved.
God knows you need it.
Let me shower you with the finer things.
I’ll give you all you deserve.
I can keep you centered.
Showing you that all you strive for is possible.
I’ve caused you many tears.
Tears I wish to erase.
Give me time to make it up to you.
I will make you my #1.
I promise to never abandon you again.
All past mistakes forgotten.
Let me help you take on the world.
I can carry your voice for you.
I’ll raise you up to the top.
I will catch you when the climb gets shaky.
Reminding you that I have your back.
I promise to love you always.
I promise to always take care of you.
You are my body.
You are my soul.
I’ll never have another like you.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, My Body, My Soul 2015©

Tragic Best Friend Tales #2

        Where do I even start with my friend S? Although our friendship took a quick nosedive it seemed almost like I was watching a car crash in slow motion before unexpectedly exploding.
        I met S in high school. She was a grade lower than me, but her and I became very fast friends. She was really outspoken, funny, and remained herself always. Most people in high school are always trying to keep up a reputation, but S gave zero fucks and I liked that about her. She was definitely one of those kids you see in the high school movies who was part of the stoner crowd, but only more rambunctious and in your face. We were somewhat complete opposites. She didn’t care what people thought, said whatever was on her mind, loud, and dared to be different. I was more reserved, cared slightly about what people thought, and was very very quiet around people who weren’t in my social circle.
        I loved S almost like a sister and like anyone like that you sort of overlook their faults. I’ve always been the type of person who wouldn’t overlook someone’s faults, but would actually embrace them. I mean, if you care about a person you take the good with the bad. S was a compulsive liar as well as a shit starter. I knew that fairly early on, but it didn’t keep me from being best friends with her. With this information I knew I had to watch what I said around her… sometimes. I’m not really the type of person who cares if a person finds out I’ve said something about them, it’s just my words being twisted that I had to watch out for.
        When our friendship first started to go left it was after I graduated. I can’t remember if S was still in school because she had to repeat freshman year at one point and I believe she eventually dropped out. The first time I really started to look at her different is when she turned a mutual friend of ours against me. S was closer to this girl than I was, but we all ran in the same group. This mutual friend had a baby while we were still in school. One day S and I were talking about it and she mentioned that she didn’t know why her friend would have a baby with this guy (also a mutual friend) if he didn’t seem like he was all that interested in her. She mainly did all the talking and was really badmouthing her friends boyfriend. Me, being the random and off the wall with remarks type person (as was she), said “If I was in that situation I’d want somebody to punch me in the gut.” S and I would always say these morbid types of things… actually all of the people I’ve ever hung around with talk this way which is why I didn’t think I had to watch what I said. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t want kids and I especially didn’t want any at 18 years old. Weeks later our mutual friend is yelling at me because S went back and told her that I said she had no business with a baby and should’ve been kicked in the stomach. I would never say anything that horrible to or about anyone, and no matter how much I tried to say that to her she took S’s side over mine, even though she also knew how much S lied.
        A few years later S and I were still friends, but it wouldn’t be for long. We had another mutual friend from high school who was actually my very best friend at that time (and the brother of the guy who got the other girl pregnant) who I just happened to be head over heels in love with. We decided to start a relationship after years of just being friends. By this time I had gotten sick and tired of S sticking her nose into my business so knowing our tangled web of friends I asked my new boyfriend to not say anything to S about it. I didn’t want her to spout off any lies to his brother, or worse, put any false words into his head to make him look at me differently. I asked him to say “No” if S were to ever ask if we were dating. One night while I was at home web surfing with my cousin I get an IM from S. She wanted to know about me and my new boyfriend because he told her that were weren’t together. I just brushed it off and told her it was no big deal and that it was between him and I. She wouldn’t let it go. She kept asking and asking until I eventually told her that I asked him to say that because the relationship was between us and I didn’t want anyone to start shit to try and break it up since I really loved him. S just would not stop bugging me about it and called me out of my name, just overall getting pissy about something that didn’t have anything to do with her. I kept telling her to mind her business and eventually my cousin took over and told her to back off. It got to a point where S, when talking to my cousin, said “This is why I failed school cause of niggers like you.” Whoa. I don’t know how you go from telling someone to stay out of your relationship to being called a “nigger”, but okay. More than just the racial slur I didn’t understand her logic of saying black people made her become a freshman twice. I think that had more to do with her skipping school to go smoke and drink. I’ll admit that I spent a week after this incident trying to track her down before I realized that it wasn’t worth it. So, I’d kick her ass and then what? I’d probably be in jail and she would get the satisfaction of knowing she started shit and got me riled up.
        Since this has happened only her little sister has apologized. She made it clear that she didn’t think my cousin or I shouldn’ve have been called that and that it went too far. It sucks because had she just apologized we could’ve ended this on a decent note. I don’t like ending relationships with people abruptly because it just always feels unfinished to me. I don’t like loose ends. I still talk to her sister from time to time, she’s pretty cool. As far as S goes another mutual friend of ours told me that she adopted a disabled teenage black kid. That raised red flags to me because of my experience with her. I hope for that kids sake she’s grown up. She had her anger issues in the past and I’d hate to think that if this kid were to do something wrong, and not understand it was wrong, would just get yelled at, talked down to, or called some racial slur. Years have passed since this has happened and I just have to have faith that she’s become better.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Goals: To call Chicago home once again.
Goals: To be more forgiving.
Goals: To not let people get the best of me.
Goals: To finish school at a school that has an amazing journalism and photography department.

Tragic Crush Tales #7

Crush T was one of those crushes that it just hits you all of a sudden. We worked together and the one major thing we had in common is that we HATED our job. Hated is actually putting it nicely, but it was something we could definitely bond over. Since we worked in a call center we barely had time to talk to each other, but when we did it was fun. Slowly I started to find myself being attracted to him. What I didn’t know is that he felt the exact same.
      We had only known each other for a few months before he eventually got fired. Even during that time we never told each other how we felt. It wasn’t until I had quit that job and moved back home a few states away. When I moved we were really bad at keeping contact with each other. One day out of the blue he told me how he felt about me. I was shocked and at the same time I wasn’t. I sort of thought that he felt the same, but I didn’t want to assume and end up getting rejected if I was wrong. When he texted me that he really liked me I asked him why he didn’t tell me a long time ago when I was still in the same city. His response was that he’s a very aggressive person and didn’t know how I’d take it because I was a “good girl” (whatever that meant). We started innocent flirting here and there, but for me it started to go a little sour almost right off the bat.
        Back when I knew T he struck me as a dude with a personality I could click with and a sense of humor to match. After he told me he liked me that quickly shifted. He became that creeper/scummy guy that no girls wants any contact with. It was a major turn off and it happened so fast. Since we didn’t get to know much about each other while working in a call center I wanted to spend that time trying to get to know him more as a person. He seemed to think I was a 900 number operator. Every time I’d try to have a decent conversation with him he’d turn it into something completely sexual. I’m not a prude, and that talk is fine with me, but when that’s your whole conversation I want nothing to do with it. I especially want nothing to do with it if the only question you have for me is “What’s your bra size?” As if you’re some 12 year old boy who’s discovering breasts for the first time. I’d gotten so sick of that question being asked every single time he talked I asked him, “Even if I were to tell you do you know anything about how bra sizes work?” Of course like most men his answer was “No.” I replied, “So, if we spent months with each other and you’ve seen my breast size, then what does a number do if you have no clue how bra sizes work? That question would only make sense if you were going to surprise me and buy me some bras. If you don’t plan on doing that then stop asking me that fucking question.” It stopped for a bit, but then his conversation became real dull which led me to believe that he really didn’t have anything to talk about other than sex or more specifically, my breasts. T never took the time to get to know me or to just even shoot the shit. He was only interested in boobs. It was a little weird and juvenile coming from someone in their mid-twenties.
        My last straw with T was last October. I hadn’t talked to him in months and by chance he messaged me very early in the morning on my birthday. One of the first things he said to me was “Still got a huge rack?” Again, unless he had hella early onset Alzheimer’s he knows what I look like so why the constant questions about my tits? I went off and told him that I can’t talk to anyone who is going to constantly talk to me like I’m a piece of meat. More than that I’m not going to keep talking to someone who totally ignores me saying that it makes me feel very uncomfortable and dirty. More than that I told him that arguing with him was not how I was going to start out my birthday. I haven’t talked to him since. I think a few months after that he messaged me and I just straight up told him that I no longer have anything to say to him ever. Once I’m done with someone I’m done. I have no clue if he’s off perving it up with someone else or if he actually became a grown man that’s close to being 30. I guess I’ll never know and I’m more than okay with that.

-Asia Aneka Anderso, 2015(c)
Day 148: Just back from an interview. Fingers crossed. Not even for the money, but just to get out and live. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Goals: To run a successful blog
Goals: To be more open.

I Have A Bone To Pick With Pinterest

        Yesterday I posted about receiving a threat from Pinterest that my account was suspended and will possibly be terminated because I pinned a photo of Benedict Cumberbatch that I had seen on Tumblr and the photographer, Armando Gallo, reported it. I had never heard of this photographer before yesterday nor was his name or credit attached to said photo of Ben or else it would’ve still been there. Today I receive another email stating another pin of Ben had been removed, but that this was not a complaint directed at me, but at another user whom I had repinned this from. The link from the second photo is very similar to the first one so I assume both pics came from the same master post on Tumblr.
        I’m not pissed or disappointed because of photos of Benedict being removed from my account. My beef is how it was handled. As a writer I would be agitated if my poems were passed along the internet and someone was legit trying to take credit for it. On all of my work I have my name attached and if someone were to crop out my name, I’d be mad, but only if that were the case. If it’s friendly sharing with my name still visible, I have no problem. I want my work to be shared and I want people to know it’s MY work. As far as that’s concerned, I can see where Mr. Gallo is coming from, but it would be nice if he had realized that I’m only pinning this pic because it’s of Benedict Cumberbatch and not because I wanted people to think I took it personally. I had no intentions of stealing someone’s work and I did not pass it off as my own. I would like to think that’s how most people who share things on the internet are. They’re sharing because of the content that they like and nothing malicious. I feel a more appropriate way he could’ve went about it is to comment to say “Hey this is my photo and I have no intentions of it being shared online or on Pinterest.” That’s fine. Delete. The only problem is, dude do you know it’s all over Tumblr and that Tumblr is way bigger than Pinterest will ever be? I had once repinned something from another user that was an old picture from about the 1930s or 40s and a woman commented that it was a pic of her grandmother and didn’t want it shared. I went back and looked at the original pin and she had left that same comment there and on the others that had repinned from the original source. I feel that’s how you handle something like that and not try and shut people down. Now that’s screwing with my work that I have pinned on there and the following that I have that I’m trying to reach with my poetry/writing/blogging career.
       In the email sent to me from Pinterest they informed me that this is my third complaint. As far as I know this is my second. The last one took place last year and I probably should have raised a stink on that one more than I am with this one. Now with this complaint I have become aware that Armando is a real person, this other person seems to be someone trolling the internet reporting people about one two line poem only. This person goes by the name Shaun Shane and the poem is about a glass tongue or some shit. Again I found this on Tumblr and I remember there being no credit attached to it. There’s tons of quotes floating around Tumblr (and the internet as a whole) who have no name attached. I had never heard of this poet before that time and really the only thing I know about him is his reputation for reporting everyone about this one. single. poem. If you search him on Google that’s mainly all you will find. There’s barely anything about any other works, it’s mainly about his trolling and his glass tongue. He’s reported people on everything from random sites that I’ve never heard of to Twitter. Why Pinterest never looked into that is beyond me. It also amazes me with both Shaun and Armando if you search them neither really truly has a Pinterest account. Shaun’s is really weird. He has an account that just has his name attached. No followers, no pins, no boards. Just his name. Also if you search his name you’ll find about two or three other people that have only one board titled “Shaun Shane” and nothing else. To me that screams troll, but I could be wrong. As far as Armando goes he also has an account with nothing on it. Do they set up accounts just to search for their material and report people? Isn’t that an abuse of the DMCA? I know I can’t be the only one so does Pinterest notice the abuse of the individuals that do this? Are they able to do anything about that?
       For the next few weeks my account will be suspended due to me pinning something someone else had removed the source from. From this experience all it tells me is that people need to double check, triple check, and quadruple check whatever they want to pin or even repin, do internet research on said pin, and probably write a two page essay on why you want to pin it. That sounds ridiculous. What’s even more ridiculous is that with my account suspended I’m still getting a ton of push notifications of people following me and repinning my pins. I have 100+ boards, 66,000+ pins, and 5,000+ followers. I’ve been apart of this community since almost the beginning and in a silly way feel betrayed. I have become friends with lots of people through Pinterest. More than anything that makes me mad about this is I have my own photography, poetry, and art on my account. If this is how Pinterest treats people I no longer want to share my work on their site. This suspension prevents me from removing my personal work. If my account is suspended it should be on all fronts. I shouldn’t be able to do anything on my account and no one should be able to pin or follow me. It’s that simple. From now on I’ll share my work with all other major social media outlets. It’s a shame because I have a stronger following on Pinterest compared to even Twitter, Facebook, and both of my Tumblr accounts combined. Once this suspension is lifted there will be major changes to my account and I’ll use that medium to direct more traffic to Tumbr, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.
         When I first joined Pinterest I was just as obsessed as the next person (probably more so). It was the place I could connect with my fellow fangirls and talk about Benedict Cumberbatch, Hiddles, The Beatles, etc. I started my Pinterest account when I was at an extremely stressful job and it helped me relax. Anyone else had to deal with a lot of crap with Pinterest or are they just picking on me and a select few? Oh well, I’ll always have Tumblr. It’s cooler over here anyways and at least I’ve never been called racial slurs here or any other social media platform the way I have been on Pinterest in the past. No one in Pinterest wanted to look into that for me but get their panties in a twist over Benedict Cumberbatch.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
If I get shit like this from Pinterest one more time

I had no idea that I had to do extensive research on where pics come from that I pin or repin. The fuck? Obviously it was from Tumblr and I’m not the only person who’s pinned, repinned, blogged, or reblogged. Just remove it, tell me what it is so that I don’t make that mistake again, and keep it moving. Don’t be such a diva about it.
Day 147: A few weeks ago I saw the movie "Yes Man" for the first time. An old cheesy #JimCarrey flick, but it's probably one of the most motivating movies I've seen in a while. I need to say yes more and do more. I'm not 100% committed to this lifestyle so if you ask me to do some bullshit it's still a no lol. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 146: I've been smiling a lot lately. Not for any particular reason and not for the obvious. It's because deep down I have a feeling that things are going to make a drastic change for the better. I don't know what and I don't know when, but I'm gonna trust my gut on this one 😊 #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals

Don't Put Me In Your Box

Don’t put me in your box.
I am too big to contain.
Your rules will not stick.
Your rules I will break.
I cannot fit into your box.
I will not color inside your lines.
On a fast track to live hard.
Die young.
You can’t put me in your box.
Your walls I’ll break down.
Your barriers I’ll demolish.
I will not be put in a box.
Too strong to hold down.
Too anxious to sit still.
You can’t tame me.
Your box will never hold me.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, Don’t Put Me In Your Box 2015©
Day 145: This squat challenge seems less likely to kill me than the last one I started. Just add 5 a day #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #weightloss #exercise #workout

Tragic Work Tales #1

        My employment with C was a roller coaster of fuckery from start to finish. There will be many posts in this series from this job alone. This place caused me so much stress, depression, and anxiety. This tale is not about my first horrible run in with this company, but it is the one that left me with the biggest “what the fuck?” moment.
        In December of 2010 I was only at this job for about six months. I had only been out of training for a bit and had received vacation and other paid off days not too long before that. It was getting close to Christmastime and I was hopeful that I could be approved for a few days off so that I could go home for the holidays since I hadn’t been home for over a year. I logged my time into the system and kept getting error messages before being added to a wait list. As someone who had never had a job with these types of benefits and was used to just taking days off with no pay I didn’t 100% understand what it meant. My supervisor told me that since it was the holiday lots of people were probably asking for it off hence the wait list. I asked her since the new hires had just received their vacation days was there any way to override it so that we wouldn’t lose those days completely in a few weeks when the new year rolled around. By that time I had ditched the idea of going home I just wanted to be able to use the days before losing them. She made me believe that she understood that we had a short time to use these days and assured me that she would speak with the manager immediately to get it taken care of. A few days went by and my supervisor hadn’t given me any answer on what to do with these days so I took upon myself to speak with the manager myself since I was promised that it would be taken care of. I wanted to cry when I talked to the manager about what was going on as if he’d known the issue when in fact no one had talked to him about it at all. I was pissed. I waited days to get an answer about something that wasn’t being discussed as promised. Days where I could’ve used those hours to leave work early or come in late all because my supervisor told me that this was an issue that the manager could, in fact, take care of.
        A few weeks into the new year my father had a stroke. Turns out I was going home anyways. I was notified about it on a day that would be considered my Friday. I caught a Greyhound bus in the middle of the night so I could be home the next morning. When I arrived in my hometown I called my supervisor to notify her of what was going on. Even though it was our day off I wanted to call her to let her know where I was so that a.) since I was still pretty new if I wasn’t allowed to be off any extra days I could head home the next day and b.) to get guidance on what I was supposed to do in case of a family emergency in the first place. She told me to just take care of my family and to keep her in the loop and that she’d let me know all that I needed to do while I was with my dad.
        My father was only in the hospital for about four days before being moved to a rehab facility for speech and physical therapy. The whole time I kept my supervisor up to date and at no time did she tell me that I needed to be back at work in ‘x’ amount of days. Since I’d had a few run ins with this supervisor (even before the vacation days incident) I made sure to get numerous notes from doctors and nurses from the hospital and the rehab facility. In total I was gone for about a week. As hard as it was for me to leave my dad, and he was still having lots of trouble talking (and honestly four years later still has a bit of trouble), I left a few days after he arrived to rehab. My last day there I had my phone on vibrate while visiting with my father. As I was leaving I noticed I had a voice mail from someone at work. It was my manager. It was a short message, and I can’t exactly remember the entirety of the message, but I do know that in an irritated tone he said “So how long is this going to take?!” I could’ve broken my phone in half. How long is it going to take?!?!?!? My father just had a stroke and you ask how long it’s going to take. Are you fucking serious?! Are you trying to win the insensitive asshole of the year award?! I had been calling these people everyday asking what I should do. If after two days they had told me I needed to come back to work, then I would’ve come back, but I never got that. I was told to take care of my dad, which is what I did, as well as call these morons everyday, With the tone of his voice you would think I just left town on my day off and didn’t tell anyone shit. I was furious. What was the point of me calling everyday?!
        When I arrived back to work the following day I dumped all of my notes on my supervisor. I didn’t say a word because I know my mouth and I knew if I were to say something I would’ve lost my job. While she looked them over I went back to work. Since this woman was so completely rude she called out to me while I was working with a customer (something I would sadly get used to) and said “When your father was moved to rehab why didn’t you come back after the dark part was over?” Seeing as my father just had a stroke I would say that it all looked pretty dark. I asked her what she meant because I didn’t see the bright and sunny side to my dad having a stroke. I missed that part. She said that the hospital seems like that was the dark part and that if he was well enough to go to a rehab facility then he should’ve been well enough for me to leave. You would’ve thought that I was there for three weeks. My dad was only in rehab for three days before I came back. As leadership when I called everyday to ask what it is that I had to do the smart thing would’ve been to tell me that I only had a certain amount of days instead of letting me just try to figure it out on my own. I had my hands full with trying to care of the only father I have. I didn’t have time to try and become a mind reader and figure out what in the hell these people wanted. I had never dealt with a group of people who were supposed to be superiors and didn’t know what the hell they were doing or had conflicting answers.
        The only good thing to come out of this confusing bullshit is that not even two weeks after coming back to work my manager was fired. There were rumors going around the building as to why he was fired. Everything was said from him sleeping with or sexually harassing women to him not keeping on his job and getting things done in time. Both were believable. He walked around the building too much and flirted with every woman he came in contact with which means he was never in his office doing the work he was supposed to be doing. Either way I always felt like it was a little bit of karma. I wonder how long it took for him to find a new job.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
"I Fly" Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson (my backyard/ Dayton, Ohio)
Day 144: Happy #PanVisibilityDay #Pride #Pansexual #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 143: I really want my hair this color. I will one day. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #LondonLilac #VidalSassoon #PurpleHairDontCare
Day 142: I have got to be more like this with myself. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 141: #Louie is bae. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 140: my goal is to get a VW bus like this and travel the country. Just letting the road take me wherever I'll be. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #365DsysOfHippy #VW #HappyGoals
"I Want To Go Home" Asia Aneka Anderson 2015(c)
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson (Navy Pier/ Chicago)

I Fly

Every time I try to spread my wings the ends instantaneously get clipped.
Shorter and shorter they seem.
Still I try.
Try to fly.
Fly away to something better.
Fly away to something new.
I try to soar above the chaos.
The wind blows me further back than before.
Wings clipped.
Future far.
Still I try to spread my wings.
Still I long to soar.
Nothing can keep me from flying high.
Nothing will contain the adventure in my heart.
I will soar.
I will, one day, fly away.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, I Fly 2015©

I Once Told You I Loved You

I thought about you all the time.
Thoughts of you made my heart swell.
I knew you were meant for me.
Feelings that I kept inside.
Scared it was only me.
A feeling so strong I could no longer keep secret.
I once told you I loved you.
Sure there would be a display of fireworks.
It took you by surprise.
You gave silence that could shake the dead.
An eternity would pass before you would answer.
An answer I didn’t want to hear.
Words worse than rejection.
A cool calm “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
Followed by nothing more.
Casual conversations continue.
My heart still confused.
Refusing to be strung along.
I say goodbye.
I once told you I loved you.
And always that will be true.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, I Once Told You I Loved You 2015©
“In With The Spring” Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson (Millennium Park/Chicago)
Day 139: "Media is the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty & the guilty innocent. That's power." -#MalcolmX. Words still true for today. #HappyBirthdayMalcolm #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 138: Justin at #Sephora made me look hot today. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals

The World Through My Eyes

I saw the world through your eyes.
The view so skewed.
Outlook so foggy and bleak.
I stepped outside you.
Hoping the view would be clear.
A part of you stayed with me.
The storm still clouding my vision.
I asked you to see the world through my eyes.
Hope and bright future just over the horizon.
You stayed in your bubble of doom.
Unwilling to see things clearly.
Your mind weighed down with unnecessary worry. 

I insisted that through my eyes the world had blue skies. 
You said “Even the bluest skies turn grey.” 
I tried to see the world through your eyes.
So bitter and cold. 
A world that refused to turn and let the sun rise. 
As my sun rises yours is always set. 
No way to see forward in the pitch black ahead. 
I can only see the world in my eyes. 
A few stormy days beat a lifetime of rain.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, The World Through My Eyes 2015©

Be Who You Want To Be

        I had yet another of many discussions with my mom about body image. Since my aunt passed in January we’ve been spending a lot of time with my grandma. One thing my grandma wants to do at least once a month is to go to church. My mom freaks out about this because 1. her and I are not church going folk and 2. she’s always worried about how her body will look if she wears a dress. She complains because she doesn’t like the idea of dressing up. I try to tell her that just because she assumes other people may be in “church attire” doesn’t mean she has to do the same. Church shouldn’t be about fashion, but somehow that’s what it’s become. I don’t think God will mind if you show up in jeans and a t-shirt or a nice blouse and some slacks.
        When going shopping with her I feel like a life coach. She’ll pull out a cute dress only to put it back because it’s sleeveless or has spaghetti straps all because she thinks her arms are flabby. “And?” has become my signature response. “If you like it, wear it.” I asked her, “Why do you care so much?” She said “That’s what happens when you get older.” I had to correct her. “That’s backwards. They older you get the less fucks you give. You’re doing life completely wrong.” The same goes for my grandma. My aunt, who passed, was a hair stylist and did my grandmother’s hair regularly. Now that she’s gone she’s had no problem buying wigs. What she does have a problem with is stepping outside of this strict comfort zone she’s set around herself. She won’t try different styles or different colors and then gets frustrated if she doesn’t find anything, even if there’s plenty to choose from. She refuses to at least try wigs on to even attempt to step out of her tiny zone. I do my best to encourage and tell her what would look nice on her if she’s just willing to live a little, but she refuses to hear it.
        I understand and I don’t understand this mentality. At the end of the day if I really love a certain outfit or anything else that is going to be on my person I really don’t care what other people might think. Life is entirely too short to not do the things that make you happy. In my lifetime I’m going to get all the tattoos I want, dye my hair every color of the rainbow, wear mix-matched socks, buy men’s shoes even if people think it makes me looks like a “lesbian”. I’ll wear suspenders, wear skirts so short that you’ll wonder if it’s legal, and wear any shade of lipstick that matches whatever shirt I’m wearing. I don’t want to wake up one day and be 70 thinking to myself “I really wish I had cared less and lived more.” And you know what? At 70 I’m still going to live my life this way. I’m not going to limit myself to those old lady Reeboks, and pants the color of blah. I’m going to be the hippest grandma ever and will be there to take my grandchild to get their first tattoo and hope to get matching ones. I hope I can drill this message into their heads, to live the way you want. That’s the only way to be stress free as possible and to be happy. We spend too much time wondering what people will think when no matter what people are going to talk. Being worried about it sounds like wasted energy to me.

By: Asia Aneka Anderson
I’ll admit that I did have a little fun with the tragic boyfriend, crush, and best friend tales. I’m starting to run out of experiences to talk about as far as those topics are concerned. It’s also possible that I have more stories, but just a lot of people and/or encounters blocked from my memory lol. I think I want to add to this series though. What better topic to talk about than tragic work tales. I’ve had some pretty shitty or dull boyfriends, but they don’t compare to some of the horrible work experiences I’ve had. I’ll get started on these soon. Enjoy!
Day 137: It's International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. If you're about that homophobic life I don't need you in mine. #Support #Ally #LGBT #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 136: there’s only one thing I love more than solitude and that’s silence. No nonsense small talk. No being bothered with chatter and noise. All I need are my thoughts and the soundtrack to go with it. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #TeamNatural #Naturalista #NaturalHair


Day 135: Story of my life but I still try to find fun in this frustrating process #2015 #HappyGoals #365DaysOfHappy #OOP #repost
Day 134: Whoever invented cookies n' cream popcorn is the real MVP. #2015 #HappyGoals #365DaysOfHappy
Day 133: Still making moves. Made an IG account (@Asia_aneka_writes) for my blog (Asiaanekawrites.Blogspot.com) and FB page (Facebook.com/Asiaanekawrites). I'll be combining some of my poems and stories with my photography as well as updates 😊 #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #amwriting #InsideMyCreativeMyMind

Prisoner Of My Mind

My Body is still.
But my mind is still racing.
Trapped in my own thoughts.

-Asia Aneka Anderson Prisoner Of My Mind 2015©

Review: Curl la la

As promised, over a month ago (I know. I know.), here is my review for Curl la la.
        With Curl la la I only use this on my shampoo or cowash days. I use this while doing the L.O.C. (liquid, oil, cream) method when twisting my hair after I've shampooed or cowashed. It's pretty light and very creamy. I've used different products that don't feel as creamy and end up drying my hair out a bit, but not with this. Curl la la has a light floral smell to it. I'd say it smells almost like lavender, but definitely not overbearing.
         When twisting my hair I'll use plain water to wet my hair, then I'll put a small amount of whatever oil I'm using at the time (which is canola oil for right now) and then add the Curl la la. This product does give my hair shine and holds my twists without making my hair feel hard. For instance, when I first transitioned I used all of Pantene's natural products and their custard made my hair hard, dry, and very brittle. I used it for a while because I didn't know any better in the beginning.
        I will say that although I do like this product I don't feel like it gives my hair the 100% moisture it needs. I have been natural for almost two years now and am still learning. So far this is the best cream/custard I have encountered. Hopefully, down the line I will come across a cream that I think is perfect for my hair. For now Curl la la is getting the job done.

Curl la la: B-

Day 132: It's a jungle out there. #ILoveTheseLeggings #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals

Day 131: Finally it's warm enough for my #Beatles tank. #TheBeatles #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #naturalista #naturalhair #teamnatural #PhotoGrid

Day 130: My gift to my mama came earlier than expected. Now it's time for me to cook AGAIN (I cooked earlier today for my grandma). Happy Mothers Day! #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 129: A nice strawberry cheesecake shake on a summer like day. #Sonic #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals
Day 128: I didn't choose the #blipster life. The blipster life chose me. #blackhipster #hipsterlife #2015 #HappyGoals #365DaysOfHappy #naturalista #naturalhair #teamnatural
Day 127: I loved this one. It was so cute and looked natural #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #selfie 
Day 126: I'm on day 4. I guess if i can survive 75 I can do 60 with no problem. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #SquatChallenge #WeightLoss

I Want To Go Home

You are my second home.
I was so alive with you.
A freedom I’d never tasted before.
I learned so much.
My mind wide open.
Lessons I’ll keep forever.
I sought acceptance and fell into your arms.
A love affair I took for granted.
You taught me how to be me.
I never knew myself before you.
You showed me how to live.
I was afraid.
You found a way to make me come to life.
Then it ended.
You were ripped from me.
Chewed up and spit out into an abyss.
My soul is empty.
I no longer feel free.
My freedom lies with you.
My happiness spilled upon your streets.
My joy tied to your skies.
A part of me I will never get back.
I imagine a piece of me still there.
Her heart full and joyful.
She lives the life I once lived.
She lives the life I was scared to.
I hope to merge with her again.
She’ll tell stories of the life I missed.
Her adventures I’ll envy.
But with me the journey will continue.
Your city streets will embrace me again.
My old friend.
My second home.
The only home I want to be.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, I Want To Go Home 2015©