Another big #goal of mine. #myphotoedit #WeightLoss #fitness
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson
Photo: Asia Aneka Anderson
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Day 145: This squat challenge seems less likely to kill me than the last one I started. Just add 5 a day #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #weightloss #exercise #workout
IG-AsiaAneka
Day 126: I'm on day 4. I guess if i can survive 75 I can do 60 with no problem. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #SquatChallenge #WeightLoss
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Day 64: trying to stay somewhat #healthy #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #weightloss
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Day 37: seeing this #weightloss makes me incredibly happy. I'll be at my goal in no time. #365daysofhappy #HappyGoals #healthy
IG-AsiaAneka
Vows To Myself
I have been trying so hard this year to make positive changes in my
life. I'm mapping out ways to change my mind, body, and soul so that I
can get closer to the person I want to be.
Mind
I used to love writing so very much. I am going to make a promise to myself to write at least 4 days a week. It doesn't matter if it's just a daily blog, poems, stories, etc. I just need to get back to what I used to love. My passion. Also you guys can assist me with this goal. I one day want to go on to be a writer, and the way you can help is by reblogging, liking, feedback, etc. For the most part we're all artists on Tumblr, whether it be drawing, music, fashion, writing, photography, etc and I feel we all should help each other. I post things to all my social media accounts (posted on my blogs) so share share share. It seems like the only things that get shared tons around here is fan art. Us writers need love too. Some of you, that have been so kind to me, I'd also like to get to know and would be happy to call friends and helping each other out and wanting each other to reach our goals would be a great place to start.
I also wouldn't mind collaborating with some folks. I've talked a while about making a YouTube channel and for some of us to get involved with that would be great. I still for the life of me don't know what it would be about, but I'm still thinking about it.
Body
I've been trying my hardest to keep a workout routine. The hardest thing to drill into my head is that it won't happen overnight. Telling myself this everyday has helped me keep on track a lot more that I did in the past. I'm making a promise to myself to keep this up and not get discouraged. I could actually do with increasing my workout. I've also done a great job at cutting out pop for the past few years, but I'll indulge a few times a month (definitely an improvement from an all day everyday habit). I'm making a promise that from now on I will have none. Only water and maybe, just maybe, tea. Also no snacks. If I do just one a day and it will be a small one, not a giant sized Hershey bar lol (I'm guilty of this).
My skin has also been something I've hated about myself for the longest time. I have taken the time to test out what home remedies work best so that I can stand to look in the mirror. I can now touch my face and smile. I'm not anywhere near where I want to be where this is concerned either, but it's the small changes like seeing dark spots get lighter that make me feel better. I promise to keep up my routine of cleanser, vitamin E cream (morning), and aloe vera (night) to get me to where I need to be.
The last thing I want to improve when it comes to my body is my hair. It's been a year since I've gone natural. Sometimes I get frustrated because it's not a long as I assumed it would be in a year and also because no matter what my hair isn't the curly coily texture I had hoped for, but instead kinky. Like with my weight loss I have to remind myself that hair growth doesn't happen overnight. I promise to just stick with the fun I have trying new styles, oils, shampoos, etc and to remind myself that it's only hair. It's not that serious. I will say that running my fingers through my fro makes me feel powerful. I want to feel like that always.
Soul
When it comes to my soul I want to either learn to repair broken relationships or forgive and forget. I've stated in several posts about how most of my friends abandoned me in my time of need. I need to learn to either let these people go entirely or give them the benefit of the doubt even if I've done that several times already throughout our friendship. I've always been the type of person who likes to communicate to sort out a problem. Even if these friends and I go our separate ways I would still like to talk it out so that there are no loose ends. I hate loose ends.
While on the topic of communication. While in Chicago there were a few men I ran into who I feel liked me (or not. Only one confessed way later that he did) and were good guys and I either dodged their feelings because of whatever I was going through and I may have hurt them in the process. I posted a poem I wrote a few days ago titled "Sometimes" directed at one of these men who, if I really hurt, I regret it. I want to change and have the courage to let these few know that I didn't hurt them intentionally. My own insecurities with my looks, intelligence, outlook on life, etc got in the way of me loving another person, including myself. I really hate that cause the guy I wrote the poem about was close to a perfect guy who definitely deserved better than me. I was, and still am to a degree, a broken woman. He was such a positive happy go lucky person with a great outlook on life. I would have ruined that. I'm not 100% sure if he liked me, but sometimes he would give me these looks, when he thought I couldn't see him, that made me feel loved. I miss that. I want to change from the inside out so I can be that woman I wanted to be for him even if it may be for someone else. Although I don't think antidepressants are the way for me I hope I can find something within so I can be somewhat of a positive person. And I know people are going to take this as that I want to change myself for a man. Not at all. I think, man or woman, if you are a good person then you deserve that in a mate. That's what this guy was. I'm not saying I'm a bad person, but I'm definitely not a "nothing can bring me down" type and nothing, I mean nothing, got this dude down. I admired that and want that for myself.
Also for my soul I just want to be more at peace. My mind torments me everyday and I try to focus on something that will keep me from imploding. I know that I will have to indulge into my goals for mind and body to make this easier. Workout to take my mind off it or write it down and turn it into something great.
I'm making a promise to myself to, from this day forward, to be the best Asia I can be. I promise to try and live my life to the fullest and try to love myself instead of hating myself. I've hated myself for most of my life and I think it's about time for that to change. I don't deserve such hate from the one person that should love me the most.
-Asia Aneka Anderson
Mind
I used to love writing so very much. I am going to make a promise to myself to write at least 4 days a week. It doesn't matter if it's just a daily blog, poems, stories, etc. I just need to get back to what I used to love. My passion. Also you guys can assist me with this goal. I one day want to go on to be a writer, and the way you can help is by reblogging, liking, feedback, etc. For the most part we're all artists on Tumblr, whether it be drawing, music, fashion, writing, photography, etc and I feel we all should help each other. I post things to all my social media accounts (posted on my blogs) so share share share. It seems like the only things that get shared tons around here is fan art. Us writers need love too. Some of you, that have been so kind to me, I'd also like to get to know and would be happy to call friends and helping each other out and wanting each other to reach our goals would be a great place to start.
I also wouldn't mind collaborating with some folks. I've talked a while about making a YouTube channel and for some of us to get involved with that would be great. I still for the life of me don't know what it would be about, but I'm still thinking about it.
Body
I've been trying my hardest to keep a workout routine. The hardest thing to drill into my head is that it won't happen overnight. Telling myself this everyday has helped me keep on track a lot more that I did in the past. I'm making a promise to myself to keep this up and not get discouraged. I could actually do with increasing my workout. I've also done a great job at cutting out pop for the past few years, but I'll indulge a few times a month (definitely an improvement from an all day everyday habit). I'm making a promise that from now on I will have none. Only water and maybe, just maybe, tea. Also no snacks. If I do just one a day and it will be a small one, not a giant sized Hershey bar lol (I'm guilty of this).
My skin has also been something I've hated about myself for the longest time. I have taken the time to test out what home remedies work best so that I can stand to look in the mirror. I can now touch my face and smile. I'm not anywhere near where I want to be where this is concerned either, but it's the small changes like seeing dark spots get lighter that make me feel better. I promise to keep up my routine of cleanser, vitamin E cream (morning), and aloe vera (night) to get me to where I need to be.
The last thing I want to improve when it comes to my body is my hair. It's been a year since I've gone natural. Sometimes I get frustrated because it's not a long as I assumed it would be in a year and also because no matter what my hair isn't the curly coily texture I had hoped for, but instead kinky. Like with my weight loss I have to remind myself that hair growth doesn't happen overnight. I promise to just stick with the fun I have trying new styles, oils, shampoos, etc and to remind myself that it's only hair. It's not that serious. I will say that running my fingers through my fro makes me feel powerful. I want to feel like that always.
Soul
When it comes to my soul I want to either learn to repair broken relationships or forgive and forget. I've stated in several posts about how most of my friends abandoned me in my time of need. I need to learn to either let these people go entirely or give them the benefit of the doubt even if I've done that several times already throughout our friendship. I've always been the type of person who likes to communicate to sort out a problem. Even if these friends and I go our separate ways I would still like to talk it out so that there are no loose ends. I hate loose ends.
While on the topic of communication. While in Chicago there were a few men I ran into who I feel liked me (or not. Only one confessed way later that he did) and were good guys and I either dodged their feelings because of whatever I was going through and I may have hurt them in the process. I posted a poem I wrote a few days ago titled "Sometimes" directed at one of these men who, if I really hurt, I regret it. I want to change and have the courage to let these few know that I didn't hurt them intentionally. My own insecurities with my looks, intelligence, outlook on life, etc got in the way of me loving another person, including myself. I really hate that cause the guy I wrote the poem about was close to a perfect guy who definitely deserved better than me. I was, and still am to a degree, a broken woman. He was such a positive happy go lucky person with a great outlook on life. I would have ruined that. I'm not 100% sure if he liked me, but sometimes he would give me these looks, when he thought I couldn't see him, that made me feel loved. I miss that. I want to change from the inside out so I can be that woman I wanted to be for him even if it may be for someone else. Although I don't think antidepressants are the way for me I hope I can find something within so I can be somewhat of a positive person. And I know people are going to take this as that I want to change myself for a man. Not at all. I think, man or woman, if you are a good person then you deserve that in a mate. That's what this guy was. I'm not saying I'm a bad person, but I'm definitely not a "nothing can bring me down" type and nothing, I mean nothing, got this dude down. I admired that and want that for myself.
Also for my soul I just want to be more at peace. My mind torments me everyday and I try to focus on something that will keep me from imploding. I know that I will have to indulge into my goals for mind and body to make this easier. Workout to take my mind off it or write it down and turn it into something great.
I'm making a promise to myself to, from this day forward, to be the best Asia I can be. I promise to try and live my life to the fullest and try to love myself instead of hating myself. I've hated myself for most of my life and I think it's about time for that to change. I don't deserve such hate from the one person that should love me the most.
-Asia Aneka Anderson
Changes
I have been trying a lot lately to look at the small happy moments in life. I've been trying to make small changes in my life to lift my spirits. Although my spirits are still down for the most part I still find a glimmer of happiness. For as long as I can remember I've had body image issues. I agonized over everything from acne to weight. Towards the end of 2012 I had left Chicago and moved back to Ohio. My last few years in Chicago were brutal. Because of the job I had there stress and a crazy work schedule cause me to gain a ton of weight. I'll say it, I was over 200lbs. Throughout 2013 I went through a rough patch. Even though I hated my job in Chicago I loved the city. Leaving that behind put me into a terrible depression, that I actually haven't shaken completely yet. I figured towards the middle of 2013 that I needed to get back to a healthy weight. I had to force myself out of bed everyday. I eventually lost over 50lbs, but with my birthday being in October, I completely fell off for the rest of the year. I didn't gain much that I could tell. I knew when 2014 came around I had to commit. I don't do it everyday, but I'm at least only 20lbs away from my goal. Since late last year I've also gone natural. It's been a great experience. Through my hair I've learned to love myself a little bit more. I love running my hair through my fro. I don't know why, but it makes me feel powerful. I've had fun trying knew things with my hair. Also through that experience I've become more attentive to my skin. All of my blemishes aren't gone, but I can look in the mirror and smile again. I know they're be more changes to come in my future and I can only hope that it continues to make me stronger and happy to be the woman that I am.
The Unconfident Preaching Confidence
The other day I was out shopping with my mom. It’s not even summer
and the weather is scorching in Ohio. Of course it’s time to look for
shorts and tank tops. Both of us being heavier it makes things quite
difficult. We live in a society where, if you don’t have a tiny waist
and small thighs, you should cover up. For months now I’ve been trying
to lose weight and have lost over 30lbs so far. I’m not confident in
myself even with this progress, but then again I can’t think of a time
in my life where I was. While looking through racks and racks of summer
clothes my mom got frustrated because the shorts were “too short”. I
said “So? That’s how shorts are made nowadays unless you want something
baggy/cargo.” She kept telling me that she couldn’t go out in shorts way
above the knee and every time she kept saying “I can’t” my reply was
“Says who?” I tried to explain to her as long as you’re happy with it,
the outfit isn’t ill fitting, and it’s not breaking dress codes at work
then who is to say you can’t wear them. All the while I’m telling her to
buy whatever shorts she wants I pass up crop tops that I really really
want because I don’t have a flat stomach as of yet. I kicked myself as I
left the store because I couldn’t believe I let that voice in my head
tell me that those tops weren’t for me. I hate that as women we feel
this way. Meanwhile, as we left I continued to tell my mother not to let
anyone tell her what she can and can’t wear based on her shape. She
then told me how she can’t get rid over her extra weight. “It’s not
easy,” I told her. “But you have to be willing to work at it and stay
with it.”
From her point of view I can see why she has these body image issues. Not only is this how our society thinks, it’s how she was raised. Most women in her family have body image issues and, to be honest, it’s by their own doing for the most part. They focus a lot on image and tear down the appearance of others, even though on the inside they hate themselves. I never understood their mentality growing up (I guess that’s why I’m the black sheep). I have an aunt that, for as far back as I can remember, always had to have name brand clothing, obsessed over weight, diet, makeup, etc and if you weren’t up on her level image wise she’d turn her nose up at you… all while she battled bulimia. She was heaver as a teenager and while no one talks about it I assumed she turned to an eating disorder because of teasing from perhaps classmates as well as family. I have witnessed these women gossip about others weight and looks since birth, so naturally I do too. I try to catch myself, because whether I grew up with it or not I know what it feels like to be called ugly and fat and there’s no excuse for me to pass that type of negativity to someone else and make them feel horrible. Even to this day when I started losing weight I was almost brought to tears when my grandma told me she could tell I had lost a lot of weight. It made me tear up because from them all I would hear about is my weight gain or negativity about my appearance, not the positive or recognizing my progress. Even my own mother has not recognized my progress. When I tell her it’s almost as it she doesn’t want to hear it and I know it’s because she’s mad at herself that she hasn’t made this type of change for herself.
Growing up around bitter people or not I still tried to drill into my mother’s head that she should own her body. If she doesn’t like it do something about it, but for now to work with what she’s got and not to let anyone tell her she’s less than because she’s not a size 4. Now my next step is to stop looking in the mirror and seeing someone I hate, but to also own my body and love my body. It’s a work in progress.
By: Asia Aneka Anderson
From her point of view I can see why she has these body image issues. Not only is this how our society thinks, it’s how she was raised. Most women in her family have body image issues and, to be honest, it’s by their own doing for the most part. They focus a lot on image and tear down the appearance of others, even though on the inside they hate themselves. I never understood their mentality growing up (I guess that’s why I’m the black sheep). I have an aunt that, for as far back as I can remember, always had to have name brand clothing, obsessed over weight, diet, makeup, etc and if you weren’t up on her level image wise she’d turn her nose up at you… all while she battled bulimia. She was heaver as a teenager and while no one talks about it I assumed she turned to an eating disorder because of teasing from perhaps classmates as well as family. I have witnessed these women gossip about others weight and looks since birth, so naturally I do too. I try to catch myself, because whether I grew up with it or not I know what it feels like to be called ugly and fat and there’s no excuse for me to pass that type of negativity to someone else and make them feel horrible. Even to this day when I started losing weight I was almost brought to tears when my grandma told me she could tell I had lost a lot of weight. It made me tear up because from them all I would hear about is my weight gain or negativity about my appearance, not the positive or recognizing my progress. Even my own mother has not recognized my progress. When I tell her it’s almost as it she doesn’t want to hear it and I know it’s because she’s mad at herself that she hasn’t made this type of change for herself.
Growing up around bitter people or not I still tried to drill into my mother’s head that she should own her body. If she doesn’t like it do something about it, but for now to work with what she’s got and not to let anyone tell her she’s less than because she’s not a size 4. Now my next step is to stop looking in the mirror and seeing someone I hate, but to also own my body and love my body. It’s a work in progress.
By: Asia Aneka Anderson
The Weight of This Battle
There’s an never ending battle between me and my body.
Fat thighs and cellulite.
This dying need to be perfect.
I exercise obsessively.
1lbs.
2lbs.
3lbs.
4.
My mirror bullies me on a daily basis.
I try to avoid but it whispers “Look at me” so softly.
Disgusted at my reflection I tug at imperfections relentlessly.
I wish I were someone else.
5lbs.
6lbs.
7lbs.
8.
Snide remarks from those that love me.
I smile as though the words don’t cut too deep.
Side eyed from those who know nothing.
My thoughts reflect their stares.
9lbs.
10lbs.
11lbs.
12.
Sit ups.
Push ups.
Yoga.
Plank.
13lbs.
14lbs.
15lbs.
16.
I still feel ashamed of this body I’m trapped in.
Hoping one day I’ll wake up new.
Hoping that a thinner body will make me happy.
Most of all hoping that it will make someone love me.
17lbs.
18lbs.
19lbs.
20.
Jiggle and wobble.
Tug and lift.
Suck in and squeeze.
The war with my body continues.
21lbs.
22lbs.
23lbs.
24.
Food has officially become my #1 enemy.
No thanks on the seconds and actually no firsts.
My stomach roars to make itself heard.
I roar louder, “It was you who made me this way.”
25lbs.
26lbs
27lbs.
28.
I try to admire subtle successes.
My inner monologue gets the best of me.
"You’re still fat."
I agree.
29lbs.
30lbs.
31lbs.
32.
Body what is wrong with you?!
All this work and you still stay.
I grip my hips as though I can pull the fat away.
I just want to be new, I want to be pretty.
33lbs.
34lbs.
35lbs.
36.
The scale means everything and nothing all at once.
Mind and body starting to grow weak.
Keep pushing on no matter what.
Block out the thoughts because I CAN do this.
37lbs.
38lbs.
39lbs.
40.5.
Halfway to where I want to be.
Not happy with where I am.
I can only look forward to where I will be.
I can’t stop. I’ll never stop.
-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites
Fat thighs and cellulite.
This dying need to be perfect.
I exercise obsessively.
1lbs.
2lbs.
3lbs.
4.
My mirror bullies me on a daily basis.
I try to avoid but it whispers “Look at me” so softly.
Disgusted at my reflection I tug at imperfections relentlessly.
I wish I were someone else.
5lbs.
6lbs.
7lbs.
8.
Snide remarks from those that love me.
I smile as though the words don’t cut too deep.
Side eyed from those who know nothing.
My thoughts reflect their stares.
9lbs.
10lbs.
11lbs.
12.
Sit ups.
Push ups.
Yoga.
Plank.
13lbs.
14lbs.
15lbs.
16.
I still feel ashamed of this body I’m trapped in.
Hoping one day I’ll wake up new.
Hoping that a thinner body will make me happy.
Most of all hoping that it will make someone love me.
17lbs.
18lbs.
19lbs.
20.
Jiggle and wobble.
Tug and lift.
Suck in and squeeze.
The war with my body continues.
21lbs.
22lbs.
23lbs.
24.
Food has officially become my #1 enemy.
No thanks on the seconds and actually no firsts.
My stomach roars to make itself heard.
I roar louder, “It was you who made me this way.”
25lbs.
26lbs
27lbs.
28.
I try to admire subtle successes.
My inner monologue gets the best of me.
"You’re still fat."
I agree.
29lbs.
30lbs.
31lbs.
32.
Body what is wrong with you?!
All this work and you still stay.
I grip my hips as though I can pull the fat away.
I just want to be new, I want to be pretty.
33lbs.
34lbs.
35lbs.
36.
The scale means everything and nothing all at once.
Mind and body starting to grow weak.
Keep pushing on no matter what.
Block out the thoughts because I CAN do this.
37lbs.
38lbs.
39lbs.
40.5.
Halfway to where I want to be.
Not happy with where I am.
I can only look forward to where I will be.
I can’t stop. I’ll never stop.
-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites
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