Changes

I have been trying a lot lately to look at the small happy moments in life. I've been trying to make small changes in my life to lift my spirits. Although my spirits are still down for the most part I still find a glimmer of happiness. For as long as I can remember I've had body image issues. I agonized over everything from acne to weight. Towards the end of 2012 I had left Chicago and moved back to Ohio. My last few years in Chicago were brutal. Because of the job I had there stress and a crazy work schedule cause me to gain a ton of weight. I'll say it, I was over 200lbs. Throughout 2013 I went through a rough patch. Even though I hated my job in Chicago I loved the city. Leaving that behind put me into a terrible depression, that I actually haven't shaken completely yet. I figured towards the middle of 2013 that I needed to get back to a healthy weight. I had to force myself out of bed everyday. I eventually lost over 50lbs, but with my birthday being in October, I completely fell off for the rest of the year. I didn't gain much that I could tell. I knew when 2014 came around I had to commit. I don't do it everyday, but I'm at least only 20lbs away from my goal. Since late last year I've also gone natural. It's been a great experience. Through my hair I've learned to love myself a little bit more. I love running my hair through my fro. I don't know why, but it makes me feel powerful. I've had fun trying knew things with my hair. Also through that experience I've become more attentive to my skin. All of my blemishes aren't gone, but I can look in the mirror and smile again. I know they're be more changes to come in my future and I can only hope that it continues to make me stronger and happy to be the woman that I am.