But baby boy, your mama is still scared. Halfway through you growing in my belly we were told that I had a condition that could be fatal for you if you tried to make a surprise early entrance. As much as I wanted you to be born on the grandfather's birthday, that you'll be named after, I still didn't want anything bad to happen to you or lose you. Again even though that has been a constant in the front of my mind I still find ways to block it out and stay focused on poking at you when you kick me and me laughing when you do it back. I sit right now in a hospital room that I have been sitting in for the past three weeks and hopefully will be here for another three more until I get to see your little face. Although I am bored and sometimes sad cause mommy is alone the end goal is all worth it for you, kid.
I want to make you all of the promises, but mommy is human. Mommy will make mistakes. I hope in those mistakes that mommy takes the time to correct herself and apologize to you. I hope, by me, you feel encouraged. It means nothing more to me to see you be a kid, gain your independence, to feel free, and to help you reach whatever goals you want and whatever makes you happy. I want you to have the opportunities I didn't in getting to be your natural self and be proud of you. I'm already so proud of you. You have made it this far, you are beating the odds, and you just keep striving. Mommy is so stinking proud of you and you aren't even here yet. I can't wait to teach you things, read to you, play games, teach you how to cook, help you with homework (except math. I'm so sorry, boo, but mommy can't help you with that one, but I got folks that can), and everything else under the sun. The sky is the limit for you and I hope that your dad and I can make it so. For you to have balance and stability means everything to me. You deserve that and more.
Baby boy there's a million more things that I can say to you, but, surprisingly, your mommy doesn't have all the words to express it. All I can do right now is enjoy these last few moments where we are right now and bond with you as you roll around in my tummy. I want to take in every single moment of this. It truly went too fast as I'm scared the rest of life will go. Can we both make a promise? Let's both promise that as time goes on and as we both grow older that we will often take time to hold on to moments and not let them pass us by. I hope that I am a good mommy to you and I am forever grateful that you decided to make me your mommy. Your dad and I truly believe that you were the baby that came to us twice before and that just maybe you weren't ready before. We're more than happy that you decided to come back to us and that you did it when you, and frankly, all of us were ready. Get ready to say hello to the world, little man, but please stay in just a little bit longer. The best things take time. We love you, wiggle worm.