Day 69 (tee hee): There's a business plan that I've had in mind for a while. The other day I took the time to write down every detail of my plan and it made me insanely happy to see it in front of me. It may takes years for it to happen or may never come to fruition, but I love the visualization of this plan. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals

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Day 68: #BatesMotel #ItsBack #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals

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Day 67: feeling inspired by lack of inspiration http://asiaanekawrites.blogspot.com/2015/03/dreams-lost.html #2015 #365daysofhappiness #happygoals #InsideMyCreativeMind #poem #poetry #PoetsOfInstgram #Instapoet #amwriting

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Day 66: black nails all day err'day #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals

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Day 65: And always will be #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #BlackAndProud #Blackout

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Dreams Lost

I let the set backs in life cut loose my dreams.
All the things I ever wanted to do are long forgotten.
I watched as my ambition withered and died.
So many dreams I had floating out of reach.
They climb higher and higher above me.
The weight of my life has me firmly buried in the ground.
I used to float amongst my dreams.
I’d be in awe of the places my dreams would take me.
I felt invincible in my own world.
My dreams gave me direction.
My dreams gave me purpose.
Once I lost my grip it all seemed impossible.
I waved goodbye to everything that made me feel alive.
Now everything stands still.
All the colors of my imagination have faded to black.
The outlook of my future is stormy.
My dreams tease as they rain down bits of ideas I once had.
I try to grab hold only to have them slip through my fingers.
Life goes on as do my dreams without me.
If only I had a lasso.
If only I could grab a dream I’d never let go.
I would breathe life into that dream.
All I need is to breathe life into me.

- Asia Aneka Anderson March 2015(c)
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

         Going through my aunt’s things (the one who passed in January) we came across her journals. She spoke about her depression as well as other demons she was battling. I won’t go into any type of details because she was a very very private person. Most of what she spoke of didn’t really catch me off guard because I could sense it. As I said in a previous post, I felt like I really go to understand her shortly before she died. I could see the many similarities between us which is why her talk of depression didn’t startle me. Anyways, a book I have been working on (or not really working on) revolves around a character who is battling depression, an eating disorder, a verbally abusive boyfriend as well as other things. I’ve struggled with writing this story as well as other story ideas I have. I will say that out of the 5 or 6 ideas that I’ve half assed over the past few years this is the very last idea I had that came to me about 1 1/2 ago. Now more than ever I feel like I need to finish it. I don’t think mental illness in the black community is talked about enough and is just brushed under the rug. I feel like I need to finish this for my aunt. There’s so much of my in this title character and now I see that there may be a little bit of her in there too. I wish I had to drive to just sit down and get it all out. That’s how my writing process was when I was younger. It’s sort of frustrating that that’s not how I operate anymore. Once I can finally get over that frustration hurdle I can get these stories out to the world, especially this one.

Tumblr: AsiaWrites