Tragic Boyfriend Tales #3

Boyfriend J was a train wreck that I kept reliving. We were absolute best friends in high school. To say that I was in love with this dude from day one would be an understatement, but we never dated while in school. We did date after we graduated but he soon dived into drugs and I was busy living college life so we eventually drifted apart. We would sometimes go years without talking then suddenly he’d call or message me out of the blue and it would be like we were 15 again and I’d fall hard all over again. I was truly convinced he was my soulmate and that one day he’s see it too. We again lost contact when I moved out of state. On his birthday, August of 2011, I wished him a happy birthday on FB like most people do. Out of nowhere he called me that night and we talked for hours. I turned into a teenager like I  always do and in a instant was ready to turn my life upside down and move back home just for him. That’s how much of a grip he had on me. I settled on just coming home to hang with him on my birthday October of that year. We met up, it was great, and we decided to give a relationship a go… again. We talked all the time to make the long distance thing work and I thought we were going strong. Well come February of 2012 low and behold I log into FB and in my newsfeed were some pics he was tagged in with another girl who referred to him as her boyfriend. Needless to say I was hurt. I still held out hope that this was my soulmate, I was more than prepared to leave my life in Chicago to move back to Ohio for him, AND I had recently paid his phone bill (It’s almost 2015 and I have yet to see that money btw). I of course called him out on it. J gave me the dumbest, rudest, yet cleverest (because it was so out of left field) excuse known to man. He told me that he cheated on me because, and I quote, “I think I have multiple personality disorder.” I. Shit. You. Not. I told him that I had known him for 14 years and if he had any other personalities then all of those fuckers should know me by now. I was heartbroken. I knew at that moment I had to block him from everything because even to this day if he were to start talking to me I’d probably stupidly fall into his grasp again. I guess everybody has that ONE person that they know is bad for them but can’t help it. That’s what J is for me. I don’t have to worry about karma hitting him because it hit him often before the last time he dated. His gf that he left me for the first time tricked him into thinking the 3 kids she had while they were together are his (the first one definitely isn’t his), but two of them are iffy cause she cheated a lot. I’m guessing she has multiple personality disorder too.
-Asia Aneka Anderson

Tragic Boyfriend Tales #2

        Boyfriend M and I started dating my junior year of high school. He was a senior. We actually started out as best friends and I figured since I knew he liked me then we could take it to the next step. Fast forward to the summer of that year. Summers were special to me because my little cousin, who was like a sister to me, came up to Ohio from Tennessee every summer. She was about 11 at the time and I was probably 17, but she was my absolute best friend. I told M this and that most of my summer would most likely be spent with her seeing as we only see each other three months out of the year. He was okay at first because I think he thought I was understating what I said.
        I brought her to a few events with friends, but we didn’t do too much with M because I could tell my cousin didn’t like him. Being the jealous type that he was he started calling me nonstop. One night when my cousin was sleeping over he called and started saying stupid things like “Is she there again?!” and “You care about her more than me.”… But of course. She was the only person in my family that understood me. He’d also say things like “Don’t you have other people who can watch her?!” Yes. But she’d rather hang with me. M took every chance he could to call me every name in the book from “stupid” to “bitch” to let it be known that he was my boyfriend and no one, not even family, should come before him. He was very aggressive about it and made it very clear that he hated my 11 year old cousin because we hung out a lot. Tiny back story: My cousin and I are very close because 1. we’re both Libras (birthdays are exactly 14 days apart) so almost everything about us from style to humor was the same and 2. when she was 3 her mom passed away from cancer. From the moment she was a baby I felt the need to look out for her. Now back to M. I explained all this to him and he proceeded to compare my motherless cousin to his father who had walked out on him at a young age BUT had recently reentered his life. By the time this phone conversation happened I was on my way out of the relationship which is why I stayed pretty calm despite the nasty things he said, but when he started talking about her mom it took me from 0 to 100. He said “So what if her mom’s dead? It’s probably better she didn’t know her.” The he continued to go on about his sob story about his father. I explained to him that it sucked his dad left, but he was trying to fix a wrong and he has access to tell his father how he feels and that he could pick up a phone to call his dad at any time. My cousin didn’t have that luxury. His response “She can talk to her. She can go to her grave.” I was beyond done with the relationship, friendship, and any other ship by that point. My cousin is yelling at him in the background and I’m yelling at him to never talk to me again and that it was over. In true abusive bf fashion M apologized profusely. Nope. Sorry. Not gonna fall for it. Saying hurtful things about me is one thing, but about my cousin, who was my world, was not going to happen. He tried to call a few times after that, but surprisingly it didn’t take him long to catch on.
        Fast forward about 4 or 5 years later. I get a call on my home phone from a girl. She said “I’m sorry to call you, but do you know M?” “Yes,” I told her. “You dated, right?” I was skeptical because I didn’t know who she was and how in the hell she had my parents number. She then told me who she was. She was M’s current gf and baby mama. She asked me if M had ever hit me. “Oh hell no. He knew better than that. He wouldn’t make it out alive if he even raised his hand.” She went on to tell me that he had hit her and that he would often call her names. I assume that day she stood up for herself and told him to stop yelling at her and he responded that she wasn’t the only one he talked to that way and if she wanted proof she could call me. “It was weird cause he gave me your number off the top of his head. He didn’t have to look it up.” Half a decade later and this dude still had my number memorized. Creepy. I admitted to her that he mouthed off a lot, but it never got physical. I tried to give her advice that even though I didn’t know her she didn’t deserve that. “No one deserves that. I know how he gets, how territorial and jealous he is. You’re the mother of his kid. Don’t put yourself through that and expose your daughter to that. He’s not worth it and it looks like he’s probably not going to change since he hasn’t since high school.” I’m not sure if she really listened to me. I hope she did. As for M somehow we’re FB friends, but I don’t talk to him and he doesn’t talk to me. I do hate that for several years after him I refused to date overweight men. I had it in my mind that heavy set men equals insecurity which leads to jealousy and controlling. It took me years to get over that because of this chump. More than that I can’t believe I lost my virginity to that loser. Ugh.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, 2014(c)

Tragic Boyfriend Tales #1

Boyfriend Q was the popular guy in 7th grade. A lot of girls wanted him, myself included. His best friend was a good friend of mine and I asked him everyday if Q had said anything about me and begged him to talk to Q for me. Eventually Q gave in and he was my boyfriend. I was stoked that me, the quietest shy girl in school, got the popular guy for once. At the end of the school year our grade went on a class trip to the amusement park King’s Island. We didn’t spend too much time together. He had his friends and I had mine. Whether I spent time with him there or not I had a kick ass time with my girls. I decided that before we left I’d go to the gift shop and buy him something cute with my allowance. I gave it to him when we got on the bus and went to sit with my girlfriends. As we were riding down the highway my friends kept bugging him about why he wasn’t sitting with his girlfriend. I heard him say something like “I’ll sit with her if she barks for me.” Total “She’s All That” moment. Of course his friends laughed and mine couldn’t believe he said it. I sat there trying not to cry, but that insecure girl inside me didn’t want to lose him so under my breath I did it. I barked. At least I thought it was under my breath cause his friends laughed. Upset, I yelled at him to give me my gift back and he refused. I stayed quiet the rest of the way home praying we’d get there soon so I wouldn’t have to see him again until the next school year. As we got back to the school parking lot I ran to my car still holding back tears so my parents would ask 21 questions. I watched him through the window of our station wagon as we pulled away and I saw him give my gift to another girl. My heart broke. I read recently online that he (or at least someone with his same exact name and age) was shot 5 times outside of a club downtown. He lived and there was no major injuries. Does it make me a bad person that I laughed?

-Asia Aneka Anderson