I Can't Live On Your Time

I thrive for your attention.
Waiting days to hear from you.
Those messages far in between make me smile.
I live by your time.
You say I never call.
I call.
You say you need your space.
I give you space.
I’m on your time still.
I hang on your every word.
Although you speak so little.
I go weeks without hearing your voice.
Days without knowing if you’re well.
Afraid to overstep these boundaries you’ve laid.
Am I in love with the man?
Am I in love with the dream?
Your image lives in my imagination.
Your touch.
Your tenderness.
Your strength.
Your passion.
It all comes from within me.
You’re in your world of infinite space from me.
While I create this magic man to sweep me off my feet.
You are not him.
Yet he looks just like you.
He says all the right things.
You say nothing.
He yearns for me as I do him.
This man loves me unconditionally.
The one who is my everything.
He sounds just like you.
Yet he is not you.
The further you pull away my need for him grows weaker.
I want to care so little.
Wipe you away completely.
In the back of my mind there is still a longing.
A desire of his touch.
The need of his loyalty.
A loyalty you could never keep.
Who is the real betrayer?
You or my mind?
I’ve created this masterpiece that doesn’t exist.
This work of art ruined by reality.
The truth that you will never be my dream.
Somehow I still wait on your time.
Pressing the clock to move faster.
Blindly optimistic that you will transform into what my mind created.

- Asia Aneka Anderson, I Can’t Live On Your Time 2016©

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