I Want To Feel Beautiful Too

Words of encouragement leave my mouth.
Never coming to mind.
Telling others how beautiful they are.
Their heads held high.
Mine sinks low.
Not feeling those words bounce off them to stick to me.
Fake smile.
Fake pep in my step.
Fake swing to my hips.
I say “Everything’s going to be alright.”
It’s not alright.
I’m not okay.
Everyday I wait for an awakening.
A realization of my own beauty.
Inside and out.
33 years.
402 months.
1,751 weeks.
12,255 days.
17,647,200 minutes.
1,058,832,000 seconds.
I wait.
Waiting to practice what I preach.
Hoping that when I call others beautiful I feel it too.
For now I still wallow in uncertainty.
Will I truly feel beautiful?
Only time will tell.
The clock ticks on.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, I Want To Feel Beautiful Too 2016©