Tragic Crush Tales #3

        Crush G was the shit sprinkles on top of a shit sundae that 2013 was starting out to be. I had met G on Twitter of all places. We noticed each other through a mutual person we were following. The weird thing about it is the person we were following was the girl who was the main person in the Catfish finale of season 1. That should have been a sign. Well, one day she was tweeting about not being able to find love (this was all before her episode even aired) and we both at the same time were trying to give her encouraging words. We both saw each other and liked what we saw and it all started from there. We’d message each other all the time and send little flirtatious tweets back and forth.
        As sad as it sounds during this time he became my everything. Just a few months earlier I was kicked out of my place in Chicago and had to move back to Dayton. People that I called my very best friends were super excited I was coming back home, but when I did land in Ohio I never heard from these people (and now it’s almost 2015 and I really still haven’t). Losing my place and returning to hell was depressing enough, when my friends completely abandoned me when I needed them most made my world crumble. I had no one else, so I latched onto G. He said all the right things and made me feel cared for. Soon we were texting to get to know each other better than what 140 characters can hold. We talked about likes, dislikes, exes, and family. Something that always stuck out in my mind was once when I asked him about his last relationship he said they had broken up that summer (I started talking to him in January 2013) because she was just “crazy” but that she was still in is life because they had kids together. I asked how many kids, and he stated he had 3. One kid that was his, one that was hers from a previous relationship but since the father was not around he stepped up to assume the role. He never described the third, which I thought was weird, but I ignored because I was just happy to finally get to know him better.
We talked everyday for weeks, whether it was by text, Twitter, or a few times talking on the phone. During those few weeks there were a few times where he started to act really strange. I could say something really simple or tweet about something that had nothing to do with him and he would completely lose his shit. We wouldn’t talk for a few days and then everything would be back to normal. He would go back to leaving cutesy tweets about how much he liked me and things of that nature. By late January we were still messaging each other everyday and talking about meeting each other soon and he had even told me that he was looking for jobs near me so that he could move here. I was happy about the news, but I knew he would have to be insane to move here from Detroit and only be able to see his kids probably a few times a year. I still thought it was a nice gesture seeing as by that point my friends were still nowhere in sight. One day in February I texted him because I hadn’t heard from him in a few days since he had started a new job. He replied saying he was busy with work, as I had assumed, and that he was scared of his feelings for me. “I’m falling for you hard, Asia. It’s crazy.” I was shocked, but honestly I was feeling the same way. “There’s three words I want to tell you so bad,” he said. I cared for him a lot, but saying “I love you” wasn’t in my vocabulary at that time. I don’t throw that around lightly. We talked a bit more and he was understanding as to why I didn’t want to rush those kinds of feelings since we hadn’t met yet.
For a few more weeks things were going great. Not even a two weeks later he sent me a text saying that he’s getting back together with his kids mom to make their family work. I wasn’t upset about that. If you both care about each other and want to make it work for the kids then you should do that. I was upset because not too long before he’s practically saying he loved me and days after he continued to tell me how much he wanted to be with me. I was totally confused by that. Instead of trying to help me understand as to how feelings like that can be turned off like a light switch, he decided to subtweet me on Twitter like a juvenile saying I was trying to break up his family. I was extremely pissed by that point. How dare you spring this news on me and then talk shit about me like I’m the bad guy?
A few weeks later I received a message on Facebook from an account I had never seen before. It was his kids mom. At first she tried to get huffy with me until I had to keep drilling into her head that I knew nothing about her other than they had kids together. She first told me she found out about me by seeing some messages of mine on his phone and when she questioned him he just told her that I was “crazy.” I told her it figured since he said the same of her. We started to compare notes. He told me that they had broken up summer ‘12. She said they had, but got back together by November which means a month after that he started talking to me. I put two and two together that the few days I didn’t hear from him or the few times he went ape shit on me for no reason are times that his gf was probably coming over and he had to find some way to get rid of me for a few days. She told me they had the one kid together and one on the way. It started to click of that time when he told me of his kids and only described two, I do suppose it’s hard to describe a kid that isn’t born yet. It wasn’t as if she was a few months pregnant either, she was about to burst by this time. She said they were pretty much married. Not sure if she meant legally or they were “FB married.” Either way I didn’t give a shit. I told her I had 90% of all our texts and tweets saved. She wanted me to text them to her, but I’m sorry, if he was nuts then most likely she was too. There was no way in hell I was going to give her access to my number (the phone I had wouldn’t let me screen shot so I couldn’t have messaged her on FB with them).
I blocked both of them on all social media. As I searched to see if they had any backup accounts that I should block as well I found old ones of theirs on Twitter and most of the timelines consisted of them arguing back and forth. So it’s possible they’re both “crazy” and are the type of couple who will continually break up every 6-8 months while popping out babies.
I’d like to say that after this happened I brushed it off in a “Fuck him” sort of way, but I didn’t. The way my year was already going I just saw it as another person who felt the need to use and abandon me and for that I say “fuck him”. It’s things like this that make me put up a wall with people. I don’t understand someone who can lie about something like that. Either be with your girl or not, but if you’re going to be with her don’t emotionally cheat on her with other people and hurt multiple people in the process. Yes, I’m sure there were other girls besides me. And yes he is a dick for that.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, 2014(c)

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