Tragic Boyfriend Tales #5

Out of the few adult relationships I’ve had I was with boyfriend O the longest. It was no easy feat since 90% of our relationship was long distance. There were more ups than downs in this relationship, which I was grateful for. We tried our best to see each other during holidays, school breaks, and we talked every single day either on the phone or Skype. Nine months into dating I could feel him sort of pulling away. I wasn’t sure if it was due to us being in different states, because we were in an interracial relationship, or because he wasn’t ready for something really serious. One day while on Skype he casually brought up the idea of us possibly taking a break. When he saw how hurt I was he stressed that it wasn’t an end to our relationship, just a break. There wasn’t much I could do from so far away. We shelved the conversation, but I could tell he was set in his decision, but I didn’t agree with it.
That weekend I decided to hang out with someone I had been friends with on social media for years. He was a native of my new city and I thought since he knew the area and plus we went to the same school it would be cool to hang out with him. That entire day I spent with this person and decided to go watch movies with him in his dorm that evening. The whole entire time I texted boyfriend O. Although he wanted a break we still talked everyday. This day was no different. I told him about my day and who I was with and there was no problem. As the day went on the sexual tension between this guy and I kept growing. Before I knew it we couldn’t stop kissing. I finally got the nerve to back off and tell him I couldn’t, which was hard because he was an amazing kisser (I’m an asshole, I know). Still after this I didn’t leave. I stayed and we watched more movies. Later one of his friends came over and while they played video games I called and talked to O for a while, omitting the information of me making out with my new friend pretty much the whole afternoon. As the night when on the guy’s friend left and since it was too late for me to catch a bus home so I decided to stay. You can guess what happened next. I tried to make myself feel better by reminding myself that O wanted a break anyways so technically it wasn’t cheating. Didn’t work at all. I ended up crying the rest of the night and kicking myself for not taking a cab home before things got out of hand.
That next morning I went home and racked my brain how to tell O. Later that evening I Skyped him and told him everything. I’m not the type of person who likes to or wants to lie which is why I told him first chance I got. It hurt me to see him hurt, but was surprised when he said he just wanted to sleep on it. We talked about it for a few days, no arguments, just hashing out our feelings. We stayed together for 3 months after that. Part of me thinks that this incident is why we broke up, at least on his end. For me we broke up for entirely different reasons.
These tragic tales aren’t all about horrible, stupid, immature exes or crushes. They’re also about me. I’m human and I make mistakes too (not many). This is one of them and I hurt someone that I cared for. We weren’t right for each other and I somewhat knew that early on in the relationship, but I learned to care about him and he was with me through some pretty tough times. Sucks because even though a relationship with him was pretty bad we still could’ve been pretty good friends. That’s life though.

-Asia Aneka Anderson

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