The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: The Fuckboys Are At it Again

        I came across a post on Facebook that I found a bit troubling. It wasn’t that this post, in particular, was triggering, but that many exist like it and it’s purpose is to solely do one thing: shame women.
        There’s plenty of memes floating on Instagram that people get a kick out of that will shame women for wearing too much makeup, having fake hair, being promiscuous, using Snapchat, what her vagina should smell like, what superficial things she should bring to a relationship, the size of her ass, etc, etc, etc. I could keep going for days. I’m not quite sure what I find saddest; the women who piggyback off of this type of thinking or the men who actually believe this no matter how vastly incorrect some of it may be (for instance the men who believe that if a woman sleeps with multiple men it changes the size of her vaginal wall or that vaginal discharge isn’t normal.)        In this day and age, why do people 40 and under keep pushing this negative image of women? We can’t win. If we have our makeup done to the gawds, eyebrows fleeked out, that Fenty contour on point, and a highlight that would make an angel cry we get called fake. Then comes the memes of “Take her swimming on a first date” or that we’re catfishing. Yet if we leave the house with just putting on Chapstick then we look like bums or plain. We can’t have close cut hair cause then we’re called men. If you have extensions in then we’re, again, lying or bald. We can’t be too fat, too thin, too dark, too light, hair not short, hair not long. God forbid you wear too many clothes and Lord have mercy on your soul if you wear too little. You can’t have more than a few past sexual partners, but also please don’t be a virgin, and even more confusing to add, if you suck dick you’re a goddess but if you don’t you’re childish.
        I know it’s all fun and games and there’s always the dude to comment “It’s just a meme” when you call them out on it. That’s fine, but to some it’s not just a meme. The girl who is wearing a wig may have alopecia or just went through chemo. The girl who is too fat was probably proud of herself earlier that day for losing 15lbs. The girl that is too thin could be battling an eating disorder. The girl wearing “too much” makeup probably has dreams to be a makeup artist. The girl who doesn’t like oral sex may have a had an ex who pressured her into sexual acts she wasn’t ready for. We all have a story. Some cut deeper than others.
        Men don’t know what it’s like to be a woman and have our whole lives and bodies verbally and visually ripped to shreds. It’s a shame that even some women seem to not know as well. There’s not as much sisterhood as we would like to believe there is when it comes to things like this because even we deal with a toxic masculine outlook on certain things in our society. We call each other sluts if we have multiple sex partners, but don’t bat an eye when a man behaves the same. We bash each other for excessive use of makeup as if most of us don’t have a makeup drawer or bag, and who really gives a damn what someone else has on their head?
       My point in all of this is, If you feel beautiful wearing every single makeup item you have or just mascara, I support you. If you want to play around with Snapchat and take 32 pics of yourself with the teddy bear ears, I support you. If you have weave in your head that’s past the crack of your ass, I support you. There is no one way to be beautiful. Be as extra as you want to be or be as natural as they come. If you feel comfortable and beautiful that’s all that matters. Don’t let these internet fuckboys who don’t even have the slightest clue of where the clit is determine what your beautiful is.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, 2018©

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