Christmas is here and 2016 is almost over. My family and I don’t do
much for the holidays. We really haven’t for several years now. I don’t
remember the last time we set up a tree or hung up a single light.
There’s only a medium sized feast and a few gifts if our budgets allow.
Although our Christmases are not Christmassy this year is the most
uncheerful I’ve ever felt. Last year I lost an aunt and this year my
dad. Time is chipping away at my family and grief is leaving little to
celebrate. Over time wounds will heal but it will be long in my future
for everything is still raw. With that being said trust me that everyone
I love has not been overlooked or forgotten.
I’m not in
any sort of Christmas spirit, but I am in the spirit to try and spread
my love and understanding. Over the past year I’ve seen grief has not
only hit me, but many people I’ve crossed paths with. Many of us will be
spending this holiday as a first without a loved one whether it be a
parent, grandparent, child, etc. I’ve seen many of these people on my
social media timelines, whether they be old friends, best friends I’ve
never met, or family, battle cancer, lose jobs, lose homes, etc. These
past few years have been really trying for a lot of us. One thing I can
say is that we made it through. 2016 was my own personal hell, but I
made it through. I struggled through, but made it out on the other end
ready to take 2017 head on.
This season I want to
take the time to tell people that I love them. The latter part of the
year I’ve been difficult to deal with. I know this. I also no that for
some time to come I will continue to be difficult to deal with at time.
One moment I’m cheery, the next I’m short, the next I’m silent and don’t
want to be bothered, and the next I’m loud. For now this is my new
normal. For those of us who have dealt with a lot these past few years
we all have a new normal. It may not be pleasant. It may not be ideal,
but it is what it shall be. That does not alter my love for my family,
my friends, and those who have had my back.
Merry
Christmas to you all. May 2017 be something only dreams are made of. Let
it be full of hope and promise and more laughs than tears. Much love to
all of you.
- Asia Aneka Anderson, 2016©
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